Twitch

Bad inevitably follows good.

That's just the way life works I guess.

I kind of had an empty day.

Like when your five years old and your neighbor breaks the brand new walkie talkies you got for Christmas.

Or when the chocolate milk is gone.

Or two weeks into September when you realize you've got 8 1/2 more months.

Ho Ho Ho.

Oxygen is mandatory

So today...
great day.

Taylor and Austins baptism...spectacular. Really, you could just see that they were happy. I love those boys and I love that they found something to hold on to. It's crazy to see the transformation from last year to now. Crazy.

Also, I found my lost car key which saved me about $200 and a lot of unnecessary pain.

And, Tanner was a good date.

Plus, I got cheese fries.

My life is complete :]

The Lightbulb.

Today was a spectacular day on so many levels.
Not just because I had a great day at work...
Not just because I got fries from Arctic Circle
Not just because I have a date on Saturday
[Although these are ALL huge factors]

But because it finally hit me today.
The A-HA! moment that everybody always talks about.

I almost didn't go to seminary. I was exhausted, it was snowing, and the last thing I wanted to do was get out of my toasty little pajamas. But I did. I walked into seminary 15 minutes late, but the second I did, something hit me. It was so peaceful, so warm (not quite as warm as my fuzzy slippers though. Turns out the lesson was singing hymns, just singing. In case you don't know me, you should know that I LOVE hymns. Almost more than hot chocolate :] haha...So we start to sing Hymns about the savior, and it hit me.

I KNOW that my Redeemer lives.

It was the A-HA! moment of a lifetime. I knew that my Redeemer lived before I sang the song, but it hit me in a way I had never felt before. I've been struggling the past few days, and the peace that it brought me was astounding. I would try to describe but I can't. It was my moment. I guess, in a way, everybody needs to have their own 'moment'. I cannot not physically begin to describe what happened to me today, but I wish I could bottle that feeling and hold it in my arms forever.

The Lord knows me PERSONALLY.
Jesus Christ KNOWS everything that I go through, because he's been there.
Peace comes from KNOWING that my Redeemer lives.
I am loved.

Brains.

If my ooey gooey brains could talk, they would sound like this....

BLAHBLAHICKNASTYBLAHOPEOPEOPEBLAHBLAHBLA
HICKNASTYBLAHOPEOPEOPEBLAHBLAHBLAHICKNASTY
BLAHOPEOPEOPEBLAHBLAHBLAHICKNASTYBLAHOPEOPEOPE
BLAHBLAHBLAHICKNASTYBLAHOPEOPEOPEBLAH.

It has been a gloomy, rejection filled, overcast, monday.
I hate mondays.

Finished.

I finished 1984 tonight.
Hated every minute of it.
The whole book was like a giant, black, rain cloud.
And it gave me dirty thoughts.

At his point, Huckleberry Finn is looking pretty tempting.

Over & Out

--Allee

Empty

He sat alone for a day or two
and realized what it was.
Uncovered naked evidence
Fell the useless cause

Cuz nobody's perfect
But does anyone try?
Is the will of life
the strength to die?

Sit and think
and wonder why.
The world is empty and no one tries.

Tries to be happy.
Tries to be met.
Tries to be real.
Tries to forget.

Tries to be honest.
Tries to be loved.
Tries to be more than the trouble they've caused.

The whole worlds quiet with blank thought of day,
and sometimes they wonder what gets in the way.

Written by yours truly.

Sqeals and Giggles

"I love people. They are the grandest creatures."

Last night..where do I begin?

It was Kristen's birthday party, and Alyssa wanted to drive becuase she didn't know where her house was. Okay, fine, I thought. Half and hour later, I was was fairly confused. She wasn't at her house, but she wasn't at my house either. She'd been to my house many a times before, but somehow, she had managed to get lost. Turns out, it was my fault for being DYSLEXIC and telling her MY own address wrong. Silly Allee. Silly Dyslexic Hobo Allee.

So we finally start on our merry way, and I was sure I knew where Kristen lived. As we were driving down the street, I saw Kristens Suburban, and so we pulled over and got out. I was sure NOBODY on earth had a Suburban that looked like Kristens. Really. Positive.

So we go to the front door, and nobody answers. I peek in the window and notice the place is a HEAP. Full of nasty junk, food and boxes. EVERYWHERE. I really can't see Kristen living in a filthy place like this, but NOBODY else could have that suburban. So we call her.

"We're standing outside your door:"

"Ummm...I don't think so"

"YES! We are."

"Well I'm looking out my window"

At this point it finally dawns on us, this is not her house.

Fast Forward.

We get to her house, watch a movie about invisible boyfriends, and just chill.

I think it was Heather? that started truth or dare. It was fun at first...everybody making fools of themselves. It comes Amy's turn and she picks Liz and dares her to kiss Andy.

Ha.
Ha.
Ha.

So Kristen texts him and tells him to meet us at seven eleven. He agrees. A little to quickly if you ask me ;). At first, I'm pretty sure they both just thought it was a huge joke. It was, only it was a joke that we took very seriously :]].

So we get to the gas station, and Jessica and Amy go to pick him up. As they pull up, we being the girls we are, squeal and giggle uncontrollably. Even being in separate cars, they won't look at each other, and Liz doesn't look like she's getting out of the car anytime soon. He gets out and comes to her door, and she still refuses to open it. He does it for her. Suddenly, she bolts. I mean all out runs like a 50 yard track star. Funniest moment of my entire life.

We tried to follow, but of course we lost them. In come the mystery 15 minutes where we have not clue what they really did. HAHA.

Wow.

Squeals and giggles.

Let's hunt for round-a-bouts!

So I really like this guy...haha. Anybody reading this is thinking "what's new?" Actually I've kind of liked this guy for seven months. I should be over it, but some the harder I try, the more focused I am on it. I think it was worst in summer, because I had time to think about it, and analyze it all the time. It's mellowed out a lot, but something is still there. The biggest problem? He's one of those guys "a thousand girls" are in love with. It's not because he's conceited or overly popular though. He's sweet, not to mention a genius. Hmmmph. He either:

1.Has no clue I exist, which is I really don't think should even be an option.

2.Thinks I look like a hobo, and is nice to me because he feels terrible.

3. Couldn't be mean to anybody, and therefore puts up with me.

4.Is really an alien from mars. A very tall alien.

5.Is to shy to say anything, which is unbelievable because he is NOT shy.

6.Is a boy.

7.All of the above.

Boys are confusing. Gah!

I am attempting to win over an "A thousand girl's guy."

Is it even possible?

Content.

For a moment, I'm content.

It never lasts forever,

but now,

I'm happy.

What causes this moment? Where does this sudden burst of pure enthusiasm come from?

For a few minutes, I am happy.

I am the luckiest.

Books

I love books more than food.

I love books more than sleep.

I love books more than boys.

I love books more than brushing my teeth.

As of today, my new dream in life is to own a book store. It will have huge comfy chairs and free Godvia Dark Hot Chocolate. And Frank Sinatra singing. Not live of course.

Books= <3

The Llama Song.

It's been stuck in my head for 48 long hours. Turn off my music on my sidebar before you listen to it. If you dare.

Frustrated.

Today I was frustrated, and I'm not sure why. It was nobodies fault really, sometimes I just want to bite peoples heads off. Here's my list of hate and frustration:

BOYFRIENDS. Who ever came up with the stupid idea anyway?

Journalism, and the people therein.

Money. Always money.

Seminary. Or lack thereof. My alarm clock did not go off for the second day in a row. So what if I'm one of those 'Molly Mormon' girls. I love seminary, and going without it for two days in a row SUCKS.

Sweatshirts. I'm wearing one, and it makes me look like a hobo.

People who don't pay attention to me.

People who pretend to pay attention to me.

My non-sopranoness.

Okay, I think I'm going to need anger management or something. This whole thing is terrible negative, but I had to get it off my back.

The End.

Relationships.

This is a frustrating topic to me. Why do relationships change so much? I'm not just taking about romantic relationships, but that's a big part of it. I guess it's just because we grow up. We change, we learn, and we become different. I'm not saying it's bad, just hard.
Romantic relationships in High School are constantly changing, and I always have this voice in the back of my head that tells me it's going to be like this when I get married. Not that I'm ready to get married or anything, just seeing people get divorced all the time, it's like "why can't you just work out you're differences?". It makes the whole idea of marriage fairly unappealing.
Relationships with others are just the same. People come and go, but some leave you with impressions.
Family. I hate losing. At five-thirty in the morning yesterday, my Grandma called. I was the only one up, and as I looked on the caller ID and saw it was her I knew it was something bad. I couldn't answer it, so I just stood looking at it until it stopped ringing. I woke up my father and had him call her back. My grandfather was in the ER, and they didn't know what was wrong with him other than that he was in a lot of pain. A few words my father said as he climbed back into bed hit me with a terrible gut wrenching nausea. "I've already lost a sister this year." he said, and it scared he to the core. I don't know if I could handle losing an aunt and a grandfather. Also, I know that if my grandfather passes that my grandma won't last long. They're too old, just not in great health. as it turned out, it was four kidney stones. Not life threatening, just painful. Still, I worry that he doesn't take care of himself.
Friends. I can honestly say that I have the best friends ever. That sounds so corny, but I love them to death. It's not perfection that makes a great friendship, it's the getting lost and the cheese fries. The crazy laughing and the tears. My friends know exactly how to help me when I'm down, which I try not to be, but it happens. Also, losing friends. Growing apart is hard, to say the least. There are people who I grew up with that I haven't said a word to in three years. It seems s strange how we change. One of my best friends in elementary turned a bit 'emo' and so all the sudden we don't talk anymore. It's not like I'm judging her, we just don't. Of course there's the growing closer too. People you've known forever, but never talked to and all the sudden it's high school and you have classes together. Instacal friendship.

I'm doing good. I feel like I have my life settled down now to a point where I can enjoy just being me. I still do a lot of homework, but in my spare time I've been writing and have a new-found love for piano. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle. Sometimes it seems like the world is fighting my every footstep, but I know that I can fight right back. Growing up is hard. Losing is hard. Life is hard. If it wasn't, it would be pretty boring.

Musician.

The past few days, something has really been bugging me. I mean really. For the past 7 years, I've played the piano. It's never been a huge thing, just something that I enjoy. I don't think I'll ever be able to play half as well as my friends, but I still love it. Anybody can practice hard and play the piano. Unless you were born deaf, honestly, if you put hard work into it, you WILL be able to play. Now here's what bugging me. While anybody can play the piano, there are people who have a gift. Anybody can play music, but it takes a gift to be a musician. I know I have that gift. It's silly really. Most people don't know I play the piano or guitar, and those who do never hear me, not because I'm shy but because I'm undedicated. I could do so much with it, but I just let it slide. I like to pretend I don't have a gift, for reasons unbenonced to me. If you know me, you know I do it all the time. The Young Woman's leaders didn't even know I played piano until I'd had been in there for four years. I am a musician. I breath music. Sometimes my head is a giant white room with an invisible symphony. I always hear it, and It doesn't just stop. Today I was sitting in the back room playing the piano, and finally I understood. I'm never going to be able to play like Tisha, Liz or Shawnee, but I'm going to dedicate myself to it. Music.

Weerd.

I don't sleep enough that's for sure.

Like I have a choice.

Today was a weerd beerd day. Shawnee and I were sitting in math, and she started doing quotes with her fingers everytime she said something. Naturally, I had to do it to. Naturally. It got a little out of hand.

"My quotes are gunna eat your quotes! Rawr!"

We also had a nasty history test, which I did fairly well on. I hope.
BUT I HATE MINNESOTA!
I got through thirty-nine out of the forty and could not remember Minnesota.
Curse A.P. U.S History.

Quote of the day:
"Liz,you've opened the box of cheerios, and now you have to eat some"

Human-The Killers

The Killers - Human lyrics

I did my best to notice, when the call came down the line
Up to the platform of surrender, I was brought but I was kind
But sometimes I get nervous when I see an open door
Close your eyes clear your heart, cut the cord

Are we human, or are we dancer
My sign is vital my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human, or are we dancer

Pay my respects to grace and virture, send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance, they always did the best they could
And so long to devotion you taught me everything I know
Wave good bye wish me well, you've gotta let me go

Are we human, or are we dancer
My sign is vital my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human, or are we dancer

Will your system be alright?
When you dream of home tonight
There is no message we're receiving
Let me know, is your heart still beating?

Are we human, or are we dancer
My sign is vital my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human, or are we dancer
You've gotta let me know

Are we human, or are we dancer
My sign is vital my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human, or are we dancer
You've gotta let me know

Are we human, or are we dancer
Are we human, or are we dancer

ewe...

I

HATE!

MONDAYS.

The End.

Whooshes.

I'm writing an essay.



About water.



And listening to the song 'Mary Did You Know?', trying to figure out my arrangment for the piano.



I love the song, but I don't quite have it down yet.



**********************************************************************************

Once there was a girl...

Once there was a girl...

who wanted so many things.

but she never told anybody.

Because telling people things is bad...

and it made them nervous.

But she wanted so many things.

She wanted to be a madrigal in the near future.

and she wanted a boyfriend, preferably a cute one who could sing.

and also she wanted to be editor-in-chief.

and also, and also, and also,

she wanted to go to Northwestern.

she wanted to never see another cup of Coke as long as she lived.

she wanted to finish her novel.

Mostly because it's the greatest, most pointless story ever written.

She wanted and internship.

and an Ipod.

and also a boyish friend. But she already mentioned that.

She wanted to NOT be in AP history.

She wanted to go live in the world of Gilmore Girls

She wanted to take the ACT and get an okay score.

She wanted to be spiritual, and understand what she read.

She wanted to be GOOD, and successful.

Most of all, she just wanted to be loved.

and she is.

Maybe she just doesn't love herself enough.

Me just one big drooling very hairy dog

Me just one big drooling very hairy dog

EDITOR'S NOTE: Ann Cannon is on vacation this week. She asked Zora, her Newfoundland dog to fill in. Zora has taken a page from Roumieu's funny but frankly crass book of Bigfoot cartoons. (Not that Zora is crass. Except for the drooling part.) YES! Me know! You all way interested in huge brown Newfoundland puppy Ann Cannon and family buy last year. Thanks for asking. Here is current Curriculum Vitae to update you.
Name: Me called Zora. One dude at dog park recently call me "Sasquatch," though. Silly, mixed-up dude. Everybody know Sasquatch is Big Fat Faker.

Date of Birth: January, 2007

Place of Birth: Los Angeles. Home of movie stars. Also home of me when puppy.

Citizenship: USA

Visa status: Me no have one. Me no have Discover Card, either.

Gender: Girl. Big one. Me weigh 160 freakin' pounds at vet's office last week. Holy cow!! Me almost as big as big freakin' girl horse! People all the time say me look like big freakin' girl horse. What they thinking? That me can't hear them talking smack? You know how is. People just NOT sensitive sometimes.

Employment history: Ancestors mine jump into icy Atlantic waters. Pull fishing nets ashore all day long. Also pull drowning Canadian fishermen ashore all day long. Me say, "Forget that!" Me currently looking into other line of work.

Education history: Graduate of PetsMart Obedience School. Me much smarter than shi tzu. Also Jack Russell terrier. Jack Russell terrier all noisy and hyper and not smart as me. Me not smart as border collie, though. Have you noticed no one have bumper sticker on car which say "My Newfoundland is smarter than your Honor Student"? Border collie way cocky. Same with owner of border collie. Me no like them.

Resarch and training: Not into research so much. Is soooo boring to do research. Especially if teacher make you do footnotes. Also annotated bibliography. Me OK with training part, though. Will "sit" and "lie down" on command. Sometimes "roll over," too! Especially if big freakin' treat involved! Awards: Hey! Me would win "Hairy Dog" contest. NO PROBLEM. Also would win "Hairy Drooling Dog" contest. ALSO NO PROBLEM.

Professional memberships: Lifelong member of AKC. Is way fancy club for dogs. Even for stupid dogs like shi tzus. Also Jack Russell terriers.

Future goals: Be best Newfoundland dog possible in entire world except for part where me supposed to drag fishing nets and drowning Canadians ashore.

Interests: Me like to search for doughnuts in kitchen. Me just love all kinds! Glazed. Chocolate cake. Maple bar. Bismarck. When it come to doughnuts, me no discriminate. No sir! Me even eat doughnuts with nasty dry coconut sprinkled all over top. People all across America stand up and cheer and say thank you, Zora, for eating doughnuts with nasty dry coconut sprinkled all over top so we won't have to. Me say NO PROBLEM, FELLOW AMERICANS! Me just happy to help out. Me pretty patriotic that way.

What me will do if selected to be Miss America: Yes. Thank you for asking. Me will represent all of you and this great country and eat doughnuts all day and make world a way peaceful freakin' place.

For the record, how could I not post this? I LOVE IT! :]

Deep Breath

Take a deep breath
Close your eyes
Suck like it's the last dying breath
of a stranger.

I wish I could convince myself of what I feel. I'm so unsure of everything, I just want this to all be over. There's so much I want to do with my life, so many places to see. So many bridges to cross. So many storms to battle.

But refuse to fight it.

Fight for it?

That's another story.

I'm such a determined person that when I don't get what I want sometimes the world stops for a while. I'm convinced I'm putting too much thought into this, especially next year.

For all I know, I could be living in Saratoga Springs next year.

I want it. I'm not allowed to say what I want, but if there is ONE thing I'm sure of it's that I want this. I thrive on responsibility. I want it so bad.

I also want to be in St. Louis. Obviously I'm not.

That Last post sucked.

Didn't it?

You couldn't see it or anything.

Please go to wordle.net.


Life is good. Hard but good.
Feelin' Good.
All right then.
Good.

A day in the life of allee

How Bad?

How bad do I want to go to St. Louis?


THIIIIIIIIIS BADDDD.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Yet another Top Ten...

Top Ten Things I love at this moment in time....

10. The fact that it's the end of the term

9.Journalism

8.Paychecks

7.My new kick-butt, boy friendly, job.

6.Itttttttttt'ssss a llllooooooongggg weeeeekend.

5.That includes Halloween.

4. EINSTEIN BAGELS! OH MY GOSH! SO GOOD! Spinach Florentine with whipped cream cheese. Who would have ever thought heaven could exist in a bagel?

3.Sadie Hawkins Dance. Not in Khaki pants.

2.Fippin' best friends ever. That buy me cheese fries.

1.Tonight. We're on a "Sadie Hawkins Spectactic Mission" fur real son.

The other day I was so stressed. I was in math, scared to death I had failed my history test. So Tisha asks me about it and I start to cry. No kidding. Then she starts crying, and Shawnee eyes start to glaze over. Then we begin laughing hysterically. But still crying of course. It's amazing what three hours of sleep can do to you.

Top Ten

Top Ten Things I've Learned This Week:

10. Putting Frito's in a Ziploc, and putting it in a Halloween gift bag is weird, but it's my Grandma.

9.Hard work pays off (or it will. Hopefully very soon...)

8.Complaing doesn't help. Crying does.

7.New Jobs are fun.

6.Having someone talk to you with no "intentions" is a spectacular feeling.

5.I'm going to marry somebody I know

4.Computers are STUPID.

3.I can't live without them.

2.Which came first, the chicken the the egg? Apparently Paris Hilton.

1. People are amazing.

My dream

Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism has prepared students for rewarding and dynamic careers in the news media since 1921, teaching journalists to "write boldly and tell the truth fearlessly," as early Chicago Tribune editor Joseph Medill put it.
At Medill, a broad base of course work in the liberal arts is considered essential training for a journalist. Before enrolling in a workshop on reporting and writing or working for a newspaper, magazine, or television station, students study the arts, sciences, and humanities. "Journalists need to be able to understand and grasp the issues of the day if they hope to report them effectively," says Roger C. Boye, assistant dean at Medill. And what better place to learn about real-world issues than the Chicago metropolitan area?
In its teaching, Medill has always emphasized three fundamentals to media reporting: accuracy, fairness, and balance. "There is a right way, an ethical way, to present the news," says Boye. "More than anything else we want Medill graduates to have a strong appreciation that this is what good journalism is all about."

Sadly for me, my dream is being blown into giant chunks of old tuna.

Cha.

I think I write all of this more for myself than anybody else. It just helps me relax.
I got another job. I'm still guarding at Gene Fullmer, but as of today I'm working at WJ Middle. It was so weird being the new one. I've worked at GF for around seven months now, so I'm far from new. I've made lots of friends ya know? It's comfortable. I love that! I love that even though it's work we can still goof around and have fun. Cha know? :] GF has changed a lot lately with all of the "classic" people quitting. It's gotten a lot stricter I think, because nobody's there to boss the bosses. Jordan and Peter were great at that...It's still pretty fun. Not nearly as amazing as summer, but still. I basically only work the Monday shift now. Me, Tanner, Doogie (or should I say Collin ;) Sean, and Beth. There are a few people I wished I worked with more. Me and JD always have fun, especially when I laugh at him. Heh heh...Me and Tanner are homework fiends. What a job :)
So at WJ Middle I work with some pretty amazing people I already know. Steven, man that kid is awesome! Doogie works with me at both pools, so I get to see him more than enough (just kidding, just kidding!) Steven's older brother Peter. I don't know him too well, but well enough to know how alike the brothers are :] And then of course Jon. I haven't seen much of him lately though....
This has been quite the people rant. Pretty boring. and random.Oh well.

Our second issue comes this week!! I'm excited!!

"IS SHE HOT?"

I'm afraid I have a confession to make: Allee Does NOT know how to talk to boys.
Excuse my childish speech, BUT IT'S RETARDED.
OR maybe I am....
or maybe a little bit of both.

You want to know what I HATE?
Probably not, but I'm telling you anyway.

I hate conversations like this...
Boy 1 "Hey. sup?"
Boy 2 "Nothing much....but do you know so and so....?"
Boy 1 "IS SHE HOT?"
Boy 2 "Ummmm...well.....yeah."
Boy 1 "Who's working tonight?"
Boy 2 " I don't know...ummm some new girl..."
Boy 1 "IS SHE HOT?"
Boy 2 "Whatever yeah."
Boy 1"Hey look, there's a dead puppy"
Boy 2 "IS SHE HOT?"
Boy 1 "Yeah...whatever. Look, there's communist women dropping bombs!"
Boy 2 "IS SHE HOT?"

All while I'm sitting right there. Hummmph. I swear, I heard the phrase "IS SHE HOT?" at least ten times in twenty minutes. At least don't do it in front of me, okay boys?

I think I know who I'm asking to sadies, After all of that ranting, I shouldn't even want to go, but I'll survive. It's mostly a secret...kind of...okay, I'm a blabbermouth and all of my friends know. Technically though, they don't know HIM, so that makes me safe...but then again, if you knew my friends you wouldn't feel so safe...

By the way, I am perfectly aware that anyone in the world can be reading this, and I hope they am. Especially.....

I know things.

I like to think I know some stuff.

Like how a cell reproduces.

Like how Andrew Jackson went to Florida and killed some people.

Like how to use rhetoric in my writing.

But I really don't know anything about life.

I'm going to drop out of school and move to "Grensville" or something. With Tisha and Seth of course :) Tisha is going to be a musician and Seth, a ninja. I will be a hobo, but at least I'll be a happy hobo.

I was born to be a third wheel. Someday I'd like to progress to a two-wheeler.

Let's talk about stress

My journalism articles are not done...
I haven't even been able to do all my interviews...
and they're due tomorrow at 2:10.

I don't understand biology.
Exendo diffusioate ostasium.
Blah.

I'm writing a Christmas medley for the piano, but can't figure out a silly chord for "Mary did you know?".

I'm feeling anxious. I don't know what for, but I want to do something. Maybe I've been cooped up too long this weekend...

Done.

Tonight I made a conscious decision.
I am done.
From this point out, I am me.
I want to build myself up, so others can look at me and say "Wow that's great"
Instead of me building myself on others.

This is completely hard for me. The saddest thing is that it all stems from a guy. Really that's not sad but let me explain. I don't want to be the girl who's always planting herself in front of him to get him to notice. If anybody, boy or not, wants to be friends with me, it will happen the right way . I had an amazing summer, but one thing I regret now is spending the entire time trying to get what I wanted. This is something that's been brewing for a long time, and I think I'm finally ready. As corny as this all sounds, I just want to be me. Boys will be boys. They'll come and go until I find the guy I want to marry. I always have considered myself confident, but I'm working on more than just confidence based on others, because that's not really confidence at all.

What about bob?

The way I figure, I need sleep.
Even more I need to write.
Not the kind of writing like....

"George Washington crossed the Deleware...."
or
"My annotations of this book represent..."

No Sir.

I do that all the time in school. Write to fill lines. It's terrible. If you're going to make kids write, at least do it on something they care about. Gee.

Soooooooo....

The Journalism Seniors are leaving to St. Louis in November. I'm dying, literally dying to go. I understand why and all, but I think I would enjoy it more than some of the seniors. Anyway...I've come to terms. I'm buying a new Ipod instead. Ho Hum. Not nearly as good as custard in St. Louis but someday I'll go.

I've been fighting sickness the past couple of days. Really I should be in bed right now. Ho hum.

I really like this boy.

Golly, I haven't had it this bad in forever.

And my boss screamed today.

"Hitler"...ha.

And I didn't go to school today.

Because I was sick.

Becuase I do stuff like this at midnight.

Life is stressful.

But I like a boy.

And he's sweet like sunshine.

=)

Whef.

For the most part, my life is great (I can't complain anyway.)

In comes the guy....

I know you read the last post and thought "That Allee girl must hate males!"

Not true.

I love them.

Lots.

Especially this one...

Hehe...

He has an amazing smile =)

Anywho, this post was totally pointless, but guess what else?

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNOOOO is TTTOMMMMORRROW!

I'm way excited to have some "Girl Chat" time.

Exclamation point.

The inevitable coupledum

The inevitable coupledum.

Three months ago, none of my friends would even think about getting into a relationship. No, no, they said. It's a terrible thing.

Three months later their ALL in relationships. With each other. Pretty much sucks. It's not like I don't want them to be happy, it's just hard on my selfish little mind.

So when people asked me "Are you going to Homecoming?", I would give them a happy little answer and trot away.

Apparently going to one dance is mighty important, because three of my best friends went to have fun, and came back with a boy/girlfriend.

One night.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't, it's just weird. A little boggling.

Like I said, I'm glad for them. It's fun and games when you're in "Love" but it's not that simple either.

Unless, of course, your name is Taylor or Jessica ;)

Here's the other thing:

I did not go to Homecoming because I couldn't. I could have asked a guy, or got a slummy guy. The thing is, I know I'm better than that. I don't really have one "Guy" per say on my radar, I'm just playing the game.

Isn't being a teenager glorious?

A little bit of alleeism

Yes, alleeism. It should be a religion.

Fat kid who eat too many Cheeto only get fatter.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in peoples eyes.

It's Ubiquitous you bestie.

Hair belongs on a camel, not on your face.

Dumb people are made like that so I can laugh at them.

The best thing about me is you.

If Silence is golden, and duct tape is silver, what does that make me?

Our first issue

So it's done. Our first issue came out today. I was greeted at the door with "The printer put in the wrong draft and Presidential is spelled wrong on the front cover". It pretty much went downhill from there. Re-reading my own stuff even made me cringe. My edits didn't get into the issue becuase of the printer, so it just sounds terrible. My insight is that we didn't work together enough. I felt like we more individulized or in small groups than in a "staff". I had my part in that, of course. The past few weeks have been so stressful that I haven't even had energy to get to know anybody. Well, what's done is done. Next time we'll do better, I'm sure of at least that. I guess I had my expectations set really high and it's hard to know that personally, I didn't meet what I was expecting of myself. Today has been terrible, and I of all people, hate bad days. I don't really want to expand on anything else, just vent a lot. I know that this whole post sounds like I'm blmaing everybody else, but that's the farthest thing from the truth. I'm just burned out, and haven't slept much this week. My friends are expecting me to be at the game tonight too, and quite frankly that's exactly what I don't want. I don't want to put on a smile and pretend that I'm feeling okay.

And Dylan,
I'm pretty mad at what you pulled today. Get over yourself.

Vent.

Oh, I'm not going to homecoming, in case I haven't mentioned it before (ha)

Mah theenks

I am living on 3 1/2 hours of sleep right now.
wOO hOO.
I think I shall nap.

It takes too many muscles to frown

I don't know why, but I feel really good.

Actually, I do know.

I am succeeding.

I know I can do it, because I am. Right now.

I'm accomplishing what I love, and loving what I accomplish.

I have the most spectacular teachers this year.

I'm busy...

But it's a good kind of busy.

The kind that gives you a spectacular feeling at the end of the day, when you lay down.

The kind that makes you say, I am me and nobody can change that.

The kind that makes homework bearable.

The kind that keeps you on your toes.

I am exhausted.

But it feels like I'm on top of the world,

and that for once, it's not on top of me.

I love hugs, and hellos.

And laughing 'till I want to cry.

and sometimes crying because it's okay.

And sometimes having meltdowns.

And just being me.

And writing of course, I love writing.

And life.

Because no matter what happens, God is there for me.

And that's all I need.

Evensen the movie

I found this on Youtube, and obiously thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Really, I had nothing to do with this.

Humph

I wish I was Winnie the Pooh. All that bear has to worry about is honey and making sure Piglet doesn't kill himself. Plus, he can say HUMPH as many times as he wants and NOBODY gets mad at him. Silly little willy all stuffed with fluff.
I have so much homework to do...I have to revise my articles at least one more time...I need to practice piano...but I'm sitting here. Typing intangible words nobody will ever read. I tried to go to night games tonight, but I couldn't find the church. All my friends that weren't at night games were at the drama club social. gag.
Today at work though...classic.
There were these girls that wouldn't rotate on time, so Jake made them spray the deck. Believe me, spraying the deck is NOT that bad, but they decided to throw a cow.
"#$%@ YOU JAKE! AHHHHHHH!" Really, it was terrible, but sometimes....people just deserve stuff I guess.

Guess what? I WANT TO GO TO HOMECOMING. I even have a really gorgeous dress and everything. Think a want ad in the paper would be to desperate? ;) Really though, I just want to go. I've kind of come to terms with the fact I'm probably not, and really I'm okay with it, but really, it would be nice. I have about four guys in mind. GASH. GEE. GOLLY. WHIZ.
TB,MS,SW,MS...takea nice guess at the mess. poet.

shall I know what I don't?

I feel like I should know what I'm doing with my life. Heck, I'm an adult in 14 months. Being an adult is highly overrated. They have jobs and car payments and children. Actually, I have a job. Actually I have a car payment. At least I don't have any children that I know of . It's like sometimes life attacks you at the most random of times and all you can do is sit. frozen. to. the. wall. Me thinks I might change my major again. The thought of Journalism is attractive, but I'm not 100% me. I'm leaning more 'tword English. the way I'm going I'll be a thirty year old sophomore majoring in auto-repair. I take that back, I love the men that fix my car, I just wouldn't want to be one. This is what I know:
I love people.
I love the stories people tell.
I can't stand science.
I'm an Entrepreneur.
I love kids.
I love to write.
Math is just that. Math.
I can't draw.


If there was a career path in texting, I would have my doctorate. I wonder if I can major in facebook...

The Big 50

Cute Cousins
My Family
The whole posse
These are just a couple photos from my granparents 5oth wedding anniversery :]

In Love.

I'm in love...
with the water.
Slicing through, all my problems seems to sink to the bottom.
What can I say, I love to swim!

Today was sooooo much fun! I swam laps this morning, then went to the U for concessions. It was completley crazy, but really a lot of fun too :] I'm feeling pretty good right now, even if I smell like stale pretzels and coke. I HATE COKE. WoOoOo HoOo!

Viva la LIFE.

School has started. The whole ordeal was not nearly as dramatic as I thought it would be. It's the same as three months ago, only harder. I have taken on the crazy idea of 4, countm' 4 college classes-Three AP, 1 CC. And of course that's not counting Honors Pre-Calc. Call me crazy, but I'm sticking with this. The biggest thing that's bugging me is I'm not too happy. Generally, when I'm really happy my grades go down, and when I stressed and sad all the time they go up. I'm working on finding a happy-medium but ARGHGHG!
It has been a stressful week, to say the least. I'm feeling out the classes that I love, and the ones I'm just going to have to get through. I've discovered that I love sports medicine. I know, I know, totally NOT me, but I actually enjoyed it, which is more than I can say for any other class. As perdicted I'm enjoying english, but journalism? I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I saw a whole lot of seniors who had been on staff since they were squashmores dropped the class which makes me wonder. Choir is amazing, as usual, and is the only class all my friends are in :]
I'm still working during the school year. I'm thinking about switching pools though. My bosses just keep gettin' crazier and most of the people that have been there for years are quitting. More wondering....
Anyway, I'll keep busy enough this year. Over and out ;)
Allee

One more thing. The boy situation sucks right now. Right before homecoming and I've zero, zilch, nada. I wwwwaaaannnnna gooooo!

Please.

Please tell me what's going on.
Because I have no clue.
I'm going to start school like this?
Like what?
I wish I knew.
I did it again.

Allee's got a schedule!

1A-Creative Writing
2A-Juuuunior Chior!
3A-AP Biology
4A-Newspaper
1B-AP American History
2B Pre-Calc Honors
3B-AP English
4B-Guitar

Notice my THREE english classes.
WHOOHOO! IT"S ALMOST HERE!

It.

It is coming.
4 days.
I am so excited :]

Best Friends :]

I have the best friends in the world :]
Last night was our Girl's Night Out.
Crazy stuff eh?

We stuffed ourselves with oreos, sent silly texts to boys, and of course, talked. Girl's are so good at talking :]]! We're not just any girls though, oh no.

We,(ehhh jess+liz) are not afraid to fart.
We encourage movies with lots of making out
We realize that happiness can come in the "sour cream and onion" flavor.
We laugh. A...lot.
We heart chacha.
We don't really have secrets 'cuz at 3:30 in the morning, there are no secrets.
We love boys.
*More rancorous laughter*
Bring on the love kay?

:]

It.

It is coming.
6 days.

Freeze!

I wish my life would freeze.
That I could live in this summer forever,
and always be sixteen.
That I could never grow up.
and always be this innocent.
That I could waste away in the sun,
and love every minute of it.
That I could grasp the meaning of friendship,
and realize that everything has it's place.
That I could remember...
and never forget.

Nerdy

I am such a nerd.
Three posts in one day.
But I'm feeling loads better.
Thanks Jessica
:)

as;difguhalfguih;eqrgju;S:fajkengr;ekja

You wouldn't think that in one hour a perfectly normal day could turn into a nightmare.

You wouldn't think.

You learn things about people, and how close it hits to home.
Like Sister. Winn and her brother-in-laws brother.
Like one of your best friends sister.

You thought that was bad, that this gut-wrenching feeling would never escape the confines of your soul.
That it would be there forever.

And it got worse.

I can't stop looking at that stupid little heart.
It means nothing to you.
Of course you deserve to be happy.
with whoever you want.

But it's not me.

It.

It is coming....
7 Days.

The last weeks of summer

The last weeks of summer are upon us. Crazy as it may seem, in less than two weeks the smell of freshly sharpened pencils, and sweaty teenagers with indulge our senses. Back to endless essays, long lectures, and late night homework jams. Back to only spending three hours a day at the pool instead of eight to twelve. No more hanging out with friends until all hours of the night, and late wal-mart visits.

My parents have dedicated this week as a "family week". Most semi-normal teens would growl at such a thought, but not me. I got the whole week of work off, just so we could be together as summer's end rears it's ugly head. Yesterday we made our yearly trip to logan to eat cheese. As silly as that sounds, we loveeee it! It's the only day of the year that our meals consist of Fat Boys, GoldFish, and Cheese. Even though it probably cost us more to get up there in gas than it was worth, we had an amazing time :D

Today we went up to Lake Lilly up in the high uintas. Even though I didn't take the above picture (yay Google!) You can see how beautiful it is. I was so mad I didn't catch a fish. You have no idea.

Anywho, I'm exausted. More later though!

Allee

Emotions

Girls emotions are like a broken lightbulb.
It flickers constantly, but never quite goes out.
The brightness can blind you,
but sometimes you can't see anything at all.

Yes, I am a girl.
Today I was emotional.

What's new?

Boys Vs. Churros

Boys Vs. Churros

At first glance, boys and churros don't have much in common. Boys are hard and sweaty, unlike churros and their soft, warm, goodness. You can stick churros in the freezer, but I wouldn't try that with any guy. You can buy churros, but sadly there is no "Boys R' Us" where you can select a type and model.
Actually, if you dig deep, you discover there are many similarities between boys and churros. For example, if you overdo either, it will make you sick and come back to haunt you later. Remember as a six year old in Disneyland when you ate 4 1/2 churros? Not a pretty sight. It's practically the same thing when you try to date three guys at once, only to find they're brothers. That will haunt you forever.
Neither boys or churros will talk to you. No matter how hard you poke a churro, it's not going to engage in a deep discussion. If you try to poke a boy to get him to talk to you, you'll probably just break your finger.
Boys and churros? Crazy some say, but if you're not careful you may end up the third wheel.

(This is temporary until my creative writing blog goes up!)

Dear You...

Dear Future Husband...
I've been thinking a lot about you latley, even though I have NO clue who you are. It's such a strange thing that we're looking at the same sky every night, but you could be anywhere in the world. Anyway...what have you been up to? Are you staying involved and not wasting away in the heat? :] I hope you had a great week, I sure have. Crazy, amazing. Just the usual. ;) I know you're not reading this, but maybe someday you will be! I would love to know a little about you...do you live on a farm? Do you have a great tan? (I'm a lifeguard by the way so you KNOW I do) Have you ever eaten really good pizza? I recently learned the little ceasers is FROZEN! How crazy and disgustiong is that? I never liked it anyway...I hope you're saying out of trouble, but you never know with teenage boys ;] Anywho, I have to sleep, so I'll TTYL. Have a great night!

Allee

(BY THE WAY....WHEN I WROTE THIS I HAD NOBODY PARTICULAR IN MIND. I AM NOT A STALKER)

Falalala.....

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I ain't trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
'Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

These are my favorite lyrics ever. The first time I heard this song, I loved it.
:)

Burning Up!

Changing...for real.

Everyday something new, unexpected.
How can I take this?
without breaking.

I love my life, I do. The only thing I want right now is for everything to slow down. I know it won't, after all school is starting in a month (aaahhhh!). It's just going to get crazier. The ships sinking and all I can do jump into that endless dark abyss.

This past few days, I've been at youth conference. If anything, it made me realize how Luke warm I've been. Spiritually, I'm getting by, but doing just that, and nothing more. Frustrating!

Other than that, youth conference was spectacular! I love my ward, and how believe or not, how close we are. My muscles are aching form being dragged behind boat at 35 MPH, but I love it!

Right now, I'm talking in paragraph fragments. I totally just made that up.

Boy oh boy, let's not talk about them.

I feel like this summer has been one of change. I'm so far from where I was at this point last year. It's a good thing, but change isn't always easy.

Let the waves wash over me.
Tasting the salt
burning the open wound
Letting the sunshine
dry my skin
peeling away.

The Girls

Pizza? Twelve dollars...Your Co-workers love? Priceless.

I have had the most amazing, crazy of weeks. Here's the short (well kind of) version :))

I've been working...a lot. Actually I'm never home.
I've made some tight new buddies =]
I like a boy... a lot. Usually I'm not to shy around guys, but whenever he talks to me, all I can seem to do is nod. This guy is amazing! I've got it bad....
I hate Coke. People get so impatient for their caffeinated, sugar packed cup of craziness, but I'M NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR THIS! Oh yeah, back to why I hate it. It's all foamish, and takes forever to die down, so you have to refill it like 10 times! Plus, it makes my hands sticky.
I got a new phone. Yay texting!
I am so flippin' tan. Yeah, dirty mexican.
I stopped reading catch-22 and started reading something I like.
I'm writing lists again. Lists are horrible in a wonderful sense.
I like a boy. Oh wait, already been there.
But I really like him :(
Fine, I'll be quiet now.
Youth conference is in 2 days. Mucho awesome!
I got the Sims. Addiction.
The hair on my legs is only semi-gross.
I swam this week!!!
I heart you.

Peace
:8)

Allee

Pushed

I really don't hate many things, but there's this one crazy thing that I despise (with a fiery passion). I don't like being pushed into a situation as an outsider. Last night for example...
I was chilling at my cousins house for the fourth. We ate, and were just relaxing before fireworks. Out of the goodness of their hearts (Hummmm deee dummmm) my parents told I should go talk to my cousins friends, who were also there, and who just all happened to be my age. Ehhhhh... no that's okay. Finally, pushed until I could take no more, I did. I was ignored, but not in some mean way. They've all been friends for years, what can they do? I was situated in my comfortable camping chair, waiting for fireworks and BAM! I'm sure it was the planning of our nice little mommas, but.... I got roped into going to the golf course to hang out. It's not that that bugged me though, it's the fact that if I said No, I would be pushed until I said yes. It actually turned out all right, but mostly I just listened. What could I say about So and So's triple layer house boat, or who makes out with who, when I don't even know who the who's are? One thing I realized though, was that these aren't the type of kids I hang around. They're not too bad or anything, just not me.

Allee Evensen

Ann Cannon

Ann Cannon. Love her. The end. Haha....


How did guys get from point "a" to point "b" before they started installing those fancy GPS things in their cars? Did they follow little trails of bread crumbs until they reached their destination? Did they search for hatchet marks carved on trees by other guys who had gone on before?
The answer is "no."
Here's what guys did — they handed off maps to their wives and said, "Honey, help me find a street named Owensmouth."
At least that's what my dad said to my mom once. He handed her a map when they were in Canoga Park and told her to find a street named Owensmouth, after which they drove around in circles for most of the week until my mom finally threw the map at my dad's head and said THERE. IS. NOT. A. STREET. CALLED. OSCARSJAW.
And guess what! She was right! There is definitely NOT a street in Canoga Park called Oscarsjaw.
My husband used to hand off maps to me, too, until he got a GPS, which he loves with all his heart. He loves it so much he even uses it when he doesn't need to.
Me: Dude. You don't know where the church is?
OK. Kidding about the church part.
Still, my husband just loves messing around with that thing. It appeals to the techie side of him, don't you know. I (the non-techie), on the other hand, hate the GPS.
How do I hate it? Let me count the ways.
1. I hate it because it's just one more gadget I can't reliably operate. (See also "my television since we got cable.") At least I really wanted "my television since we got cable." The GPS, however, falls into the broad category of "Stuff I Never Asked for But I Have to Deal With Anyway." (See also "anything that's been overengineered," which includes almost everything these days.)
2. I hate the GPS because while it's more than happy to tell you what to do ("turn left"), it does NOT allow you to ask any follow-up questions, such as, "Which left? This left? Or the next left?"
3. But here's the reason I really hate the GPS: My husband will listen to IT before he listens to me, even though I am MORE than happy to answer any and all follow-up questions.
EXAMPLE: "I'm not sure which left you take! It's not like I've ever been to Canoga Park before!" Then before you know it, the two of us are fighting like a couple of crazy teenagers in love — and also my parents.
The problem is that my husband is good about listening to me. Really good, in fact. Consequently, I am used to being listened to by the main guy in my life. So when he suddenly abandons my navigational input for directions from a machine you can't even have a proper fight (let alone conversation) with, I resent it.
So. Anyway. I'm not sure what to do yet about my rival, but I need to do something quick because we're on our way to California (although not Canoga Park) AS WE SPEAK. And if I have to hear that stupid GPS say "turn left" (especially when I think we ought to turn right) I think I may just lose my mind.
Suggestions are welcome...

I'm in love...with life!!

I'm once again, the happiest person on earth. Seriously! Everything is so good! I have it so good! Today I began my initiative to "get into shape". Now I know you're probably laughing at me right now, but I'm really trying. I "ran" (walked...) my three miles to work today. Hmmmmm? It was okay on the way TO work, but coming back was another story completely. I started running, and realized I had neglected to pee. Needless to say, I started to walk. I also had neglected a little thing called WATER (A.K.A ALLEE'S LIFE BLOODDDD!) so I was seriously dehydrated, thus the facebook status message "sweaty death march home from work". Let's go back a little. Work today was swell. Bree and JD had me laughing the whole time with their "dating" schemes. Good times, good times. Anyhow, I don't have much else to say, but I'm really swell. Really, really swell.

Allee Evensen :))

Silly boys...

You never know what they're thinking.

They like you one minute, and then you turn your back.

They can be sweet and sensitive, or just cruel.

Some have amazing smiles...

Not all are honest, but many are.

They're always out to impress the "older guys"

Divine Intervention

Their eyes say a lot.

Look deeper...

There is a certain one just for me. I'm just waiting for my turn.

Just loving it...

I don't know how to explain how I feel right now. Everything seems to be coming together. Nothing "extraordinary" has happened, but I feel so good. I know part of it is coming from me making an effort. I'm really trying. Try for what may you ask? I'm trying to be a better person. I'm studying my scriptures, and really working on figuring out where things went wrong so many months ago. I love my family more, my job, my friends. (BTW-I'm typing as I think, so this whole thing is in fragments) I've recently discovered how good I really have it. Forget all my little issues, I'm just grateful to have a home, and a family that loves me. I'm grateful that I'm going to get the chance to go to college, which will open a million doors for me. I'm beginning to fit in at work more, not so much as a "newbie", which is really helpful. I'm just enjoying the ride. I can't control every situation, or others decisions. What I can do is change MY outlook. Will somebody make me read this when I'm being a bullheaded idiot? (I would be reading a lot....haha!)

Allee Evensen!

Rediscovering

This past week I've been at Girl's Camp. It's my favorite week of the year-by far. Part of it has to do with the fact I have the greatest ward in the world no doubt. I can't even begin to explain, so instead I'm going to type out some of my favorite camp memories :)

My very first year. I can remember feeling more loved than at any other time in my life. I was twelve, and everything everybody said had this huge impact on me, especially the girl's that were sixteen or seventeen at the time. Because my mom was camp director, I got to go up a day early with the fourth years. Our van broke down (of course). I have this vivid memory of being stuck in the middle of a dirt road, and Diana singing primary songs. I actually shared this particular memory with her cousin, at girl's camp this year. She just smiled and said "That sounds like Diana". Haha....

Another memory from year uno was the giant rain storm. Who could forget? Our leaders told us NOT to dig trenches around our tents, so we didn't. Long story short? Many a flooded tent. All of our stuff was soaked, and all of the girls had to move into one tent. Out of one night in a crowded tent came many legends such as the infamous "Cellulite" incident. No details there. One thing I do remember was being half-asleep, and Alisa and Bree hopping around the tent in their sleeping bags in the middle of the night. Why oh why do I remember the strange things?

My second year. Awww the memories. Our van broke down yet again on the way to timberlane. I was once again going up early with the fourth years. we ended up stuck at a truck stop until the bishopric could save us. Laura and Krista just had the see the claw machine. In this particular claw machine there was an Elmo. Not just Amy Elmo. A large, stuffed one with beady black eyes that said "Catch me". That's actually a pretty weird description. Anyway, they decided to try to get people to donate to the "We love Elmo fund". We actually danced around in front of the truck stop and sang. We also asked people to donate. We obviously weren't expecting much, but some guy, either motivated by pity, or was just a dumb guy, gave us four dollars. Needless to say, Laura and Krista never got Elmo, probably because they were fighting so much.

I could say more about my second year, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about the "Wal-Mart" Bloody Chicken, Cathrine Spencer, and my mommy incident. LOL

Last year we stayed at a huge cabin, and went boating at bear lake. I didn't really enjoy it very much in general, but I do remember the boating. Aaaa! I love boating! When we came back from Jordanelle, we were burnt to a crisp. I ended up sharing a bunk with Laura, who was probably burnt the worst of all. It would have been fine, but two *CERTAIN GIRL'S* decided to live up their last night at camp. I would try not to laugh, and in turn, move the bed. Laura would then get angry... =)
This year was amazing. As you've probably figured out, I love memories. This year holds so many. Maybe I'll share a few later....or now

"Cee Bee Esnewws!"

"One bottle pop, two bottle pop....."
(I almost went crazy)

Haily's "Alien Story"

Sisa Booth and a broken nose :(

"Whose underwear are these?"

Four pounds of licorice

The countless hours of phase ten

My sick 'fro
(Really sick actually)

Rebekah's "show" (don't even ask.....)

"Allee, Abbie, Charlotte, Tina, Lisa's Butt...."

Katie, Twit, and I on the fourth year!

"Who's Gordon?"

If I think of any more (and I'm sure I will), I'll post them. Oooooh! I can't wait for pictures!!

So this week in general has been amazing. I know I keep saying that, but it's true. Maybe not so much camp, but the fact that I'm rediscovering myself. It's a tough road, but I know in the end it'll make my life much easier. The way I think of it, I'm split into different pieces. I've got the family part of me, the friends, and most importantly the spiritual. I crave an identity. I want to be confident, and know that through whatever happens, I'll still be me.

As for those goals a few posts back....

I haven't saved any money, Because I'm still paying for my Cali trip
I haven't had the chance to run, but give me the benefit of the doubt. I DID walk up a very larrgggee hill many times (the joy of camp!), and went on two hikes.
I am reading Robinson Crusoe if that counts for anything.
I have NOT had a chance to write anything besides this.
I haven't watched much of anything on TV, so no worries there.
TP'ering? Haven't had a spare second....
I have gotten virtually NO sleep, so yet another failed goal.
I haven't been shopping thus, no new clothes.
I have swum ZERO laps, but I did jump in the pool.
I haven't been home all week, so I didn't go to the library.
Have you seen a car in my driveway? ehhhh no.

Okay, I'm not great at the goals thing. Actually I stink. I'll keep working on it...

I have to share a thought I had today when I woke up today. First I looked in the mirror and thought that I look like like an Indian. Woohoo. Then I thought "Dang you look good today!". Vain, I know. I wore make-up for the first time in two weeks. Silly? Yeah. I had to make sure that it wasn't the make-up that was giving me my confidence. It wasn't. Story of my life....

Allee Evensen

Life is like a box of bittersweet chocolate...

Guess what? I've finally came to terms with the fact that I am good. I've finally realized that all of this stress is going to pay off in the end. In the past three months I've single-handedly (well, not completley-God gets a lot of credit) managed to get a new job and work 20 hours a week, be sick for more than 2 weeks of the school year, and kept a 3.85 GPA. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, my friends all have 4.0's but ya know what? I've done my best, and that's okay with me.

This weekend, all I've had is social. Party, Work, Journalism. More parties, more work. It's been kind-of and "Out of body experience" though. I don't know what my best friends are thinking. If they want to treat me like this, are they really friends? Of course they are, but sometimes I'm not myself around them. Am I the bad friend? Why do I feel pressure from them? Is that even supposed to happen?

On the way to the do concessions at the U, Whitney and I got lost. Actually, we didn't know where we were going in the first place. After emotional breakdowns, her car almost litterally breaking down, and about 27 phone calls to Jen, we finally made it. It's wired how emotions tie you to other people. We did well (even though we had to follow Wessman to make sure we didn't DIE!)

So latley foe one reason or another, I feel like I haven't fit in. Part of it's me, I know that, but it's still tough. I know I don't like to get outside my self a lot, but I'm working on that too. I have figured out, I do a whole lot better in small groups than I do in large ones. I like talking to people personally, where I can foucus on them rather than a huge, confusing disscussion. Right now I'm just kind of looking inward. rediscovering myself. I like that. Rediscovering.

I'm trying not to make these post so sad sounding, but it's not working too well. I'm just super tired. After virtually no sleep last night, and working all day today, I'm beat. I just need to follow my own advice-breath a little.