Prom '10...and other things that are going too fast.

I'm in a weird stage. The last three months of high school seem to drag on forever, but in a way it's too fast. Oxymoronic, I know. I've been to senior prom. There's only two issues of the paper left, and only one that I'm in charge of. Tour is coming. It's my last spring break living at home.

You know what I'll miss the very most when I'm at Utah State?

My mommy.

15 things you didn't know about Allee

1. Even the smell of cucumbers make me sick. It's the one food I refuse to eat.
2. I read more books in a month than some people do in a lifetime.
3. I'm always stressed, but I try hard not to show it.
4. I have to work really hard to be mediocre
5. I absolutley hate crying in front of people.
6. I hate the feeling of being dirty.
7. 15 hour school days are not unusual for me.
8. I really don't like animals.
9. I'm a problem fixer.
10. I've been on lots of dates, but I've never held hands with a guy.
11. I could have played basketball or swam in high school, but I took too many AP classes.
12. Someday, I want to use my writing to help people.
13. I'm a very different person than I was three years ago.
14. I want to go on a mission.
15. I love wearing skirts.

Simplicity

Today, I was able to take five minutes and enjoy the simplicities of life. The feeling of homework being done. The joy of seeing a missionary leave. A really good nap. Listening to my family's background noise. Reading the newspaper before everyone else was awake. Feeling that my life is coming together. And just...thinking. I don't think people in the world take enough time to metacognate. They think it's a waste of their time to sit and be removed from the world. It's not though. It makes things clearer, and let's you look at the world in a different light.

Amen and amen.

Looking Forward

I can't believe next week is production week again. I'm going to die.
I've learned a very valuable lesson this week. It's something that I knew, but it didn't hit me until yesterday.

You can't force other people to change. The only thing you can change is your attitude. And, sometimes by changing an attitude you can change a person. But only sometimes.

It's been a good day. One of the best in a few weeks.

There are things all around me just...happening. I can't control them, and whether I like it or not they're there. The best thing I've learned to do is go with the flow. Sometimes the waves will be high, and sometimes they'll be low but at the end of the day I decided what I've done with my time.

Without further ado....

Top Ten "I'm looking forward to..."

10.Being done with Hamlet. Yech.

9. Distribution day!

8.The school board meeting being done and over with.

7.Reading my March Madness tonight

6.Spring Break & Bear Lake

5.My WUE decision

4.Not math.

3.Graduation.

2.Utah State. Bomb. Dot. Com.

1.TOUR!

Fitting in

I am having feelings that I haven't felt in many years. Since Junior High really.

I feel like I don't fit.

My best friends have boyfriends. And other best friends.
School. It doesn't feel natural anymore. Suddenly there's this awkwardness that I haven't felt "seence I wuss a wittle sawfmore".
Of course, I fit in with my family. They're my best friends. But, all the sudden they're growing up. And I'm leaving. The end.

This weekend has been filled with lots of silly emotions. The hardest part is realizing that I'm on my own. It was a huge blow to realize those that I'm closest too don't want to help me with my problems.

I'm glad that there's always one person to talk to, even when everybody else lets me down.
And, he's been through it all.

Sigh. I want to go to prom.