ah duh

mark twain on jane austen:

"I haven't any right to criticise books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."

Ah. Too much blogging of late. Sometimes though, I just really need to share something. Like my hatred for Pride and Prejudice.

Loyalty to...

You know what makes me feel sick?

My my best friends telling me things about each other, that they can't actually say to each other.

It makes me feel dishonest. And, kind of sick.

The worst part is that if they can do it to each other, they can do it to me.

I need college.

The scars that math etched

Running to the Light

"Occasionally discouragement may darken our pathway; frustration may be a constant companion. In our ears there may sound the sophistry of Satan as he whispers, “You cannot save the world; your small efforts are meaningless. You haven’t time to be concerned for others.” Trusting in the Lord, let us turn our heads from such falsehoods and make certain our feet are firmly planted in the path of service and our hearts and souls dedicated to follow the example of the Lord. In moments when the light of resolution dims and when the heart grows faint, we can take comfort from His promise: “Be not weary in well-doing. … Out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.”
Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Peace,” Ensign, Mar. 2004, 3

I'm am so lucky to be surrounded by people who love me. I have a family and friends who would go to the ends of the earth for me. Whether in the darkest or the lightest of time, I always know I have somebody to lean on. Sometimes, it takes a really long tunnel to get to the sunshine.

My heart is so full.

Solomon Jack Gardner

It's past four days have been filled with more pain than any writer can describe in words.

Heavenly Father needed him, and I know he's doing so much good where he's at.

Solomon Gardner...you are quite the guy.

God be with you 'till we meet again.

The Home Stretch

In no less than two months, I will be living far away from home.

Well, two hours anyway.

I will be dirt poor. All I will do is study, because I think I'll have 21348 credit hours. I think I can handle. 21350 credits would be too many, but somehow I'll manage.

It feels like the home stretch. I'm buying sheets, and I have a laptop. Our dorm room has a grilled cheeser. I'm stocking up on shampoo and deodorant. I'm working desperately to save money.

I have a feeling the the next two months will be the longest...and the shortest of my life.

At this time two years ago I was...

really excited for junior year.
loving the attention of a much older guy, who now lives 500 miles away (For eight more months anyway ;)
really excited to be on the newspaper staff. Haha. Ironic.
friendless
In shape
Tan
Debtless

It's weird how time changes who we are. I hate it when people tell me not to change. Isn't that what life's all about? We spend our whole lives perfecting who we are and creating who we want to be. I'm glad that I'm not the same person I was that crazy summer after sophomore year. It wasn't bad...it was wonderful. There's just a time and a place for everything.

Amen.

Oh, and my posts are pretty much same old now. I'm going to start adding pictures. Pictures that have stories behind them Muhaha.





Once apon a time, I really wanted a frazil in February. You see, I used to work at a pool that had the best frazils ever. In hindsight, they probably only tasted good because it was 104 degrees. So, I dragged my friends to a billion gas stations to find one. We did find a frazil machine, only thanks to Peter Barrett. Turns out it was disgusting. Except, Kristen loved it because I think she may have never tasted sugar before. The end.

Post #200

{Picture with the valedictorian. :)}

{Senior Picture}
{Glares of death}
{The Girls}

Four years. Two Hundred posts. This blog has held a little piece of me for a long time.

It's hard to believe.

The incapabilities of Allee

I'm so overwhelmed. How am I supposed to teach a group of ten year-olds about the old testament? And not just any ten year olds. This is a group of kids that come from completely different backgrounds. I can name a few Sunday school teachers that have really changed my life, and I'm just not sure that I have that ability. This position is going to require that I trust the Lord in a way that I never have. I guess that's the point of callings, eh?

On Tuesday, I go to girl's camp for the last time. I almost didn't go, but it's one last camp with my little sister before I head off into the big wide world of college, and that alone makes it almost worth it. I have so many good memories of camp. It's lost it's sparkle a little in the past two or three years, but it's still good to get away. We all have to get away from the world every once in a while. :)

Sigh. There's lots of stuff running through my mind. In the next few months, I'm going to have to deal with the death of a close family member. I've never had to do that. My aunt passed away more than a year ago, but that was almost expected, and gave her relief from the world. I remember feeling almost guilty at the time, but I never felt terrible about it because I felt that there was so much reason behind it. This is a little different, and I don't know how to deal with it. It's a lot different actually. How does one deal with death? Despite knowing that I'll be with her again, and that the Lord knows what he's doing, it's still painful. And scary. And overwhelming. I'll deal with whatever comes, but it doesn't make it easier.

Who's idea was cancer anyway? Pssshawww.

I'm done ranting and questioning. Sigh.

Shut Up.

Sometimes I'm the stupid big mouthed idiot of forever. It just happens. I wish there was a little genie on my shoulder that would pinch my ear every time I was about to say something hurtful or mean or thoughtless.

Like tonight.

I am going to invent a mouth clamp.

On another subject...This whole week I've been so tired that I get home, lay on my bed, and feel like a thousand sand bags are weighing down on all my muscles. It's the most exhausted feeling in the world. During the school year I got tired, but this is different. I just want to sleep all the time, but if I do I know that I'll feel even more sick. I'm going to adhere to the following goals for the next month, and see if it helps. If not...I'm kind of stuck.

*Run or swim everyday
*Three meals a day. My eating has been hectic because of my work hours, but that's no excuse.
*Lay back on the carbs
*Go the the temple
*Get up by seven, and go to bed by nine (at least a couple times a week)
*Scale down sugar. I've actually been doing okay with this. I've yet to cut out the little things, but I've been avoiding cookies, cake, and ice cream-ish stuff.
*More Vegetables

My eyes are drooping. Time for sleep.

Oh, boy.

I needa boy who...

is smart enough to have discussions about world events with me

speaks spanish

understands very basic musicality

doesn't yell

can put up with my projects

can stay up late

will study the scriptures with me

watch my really annoying cultish movies with love

reads

gives good hugs

has a sense of quiet confidence

will not bring cucumbers into our home, becuase of his love for me

will help me plant a garden

is a returned missionary

will run with me, but understands that I won't talk while I run

won't try to convince me that math is useful

will be my bestie. Forever.

knows when I'm floundering, but lets me save myself

prays a lot

knows how to write


Yeah, I'm a little picky. But it's for forever right?

Ssssunshinnne.

First day of lessons...first day of summer. After 6 1/2 hours, I'm exhausted in a happy way. :)

Ah.

Sunshine is wonderful.